This Isn’t Rare: Millions of Families Are Raising Children With Disabilities

Why families raising children with disabilities and neurodivergence need more support, and why fathers need a place in that conversation too.

When Harley was diagnosed with Pitt Hopkins Syndrome, our family entered a world I knew very little about.

Therapies became part of our schedule. There were medical appointments, school decisions, IEP meetings, insurance questions, and a whole new language to learn. Chelsey and I had to think about things most parents probably never expect to think about, while still raising our boys, working, taking care of our marriage, and living our everyday lives.

Over time, I started meeting more families living their own version of this.

Different diagnoses. Different challenges. Different kids.

But a lot of the same questions.

How do we get our child what they need? Are we making the right decisions? How do we manage all of this and still have something left for our marriage, our other children, our work, and ourselves?

Once you are part of this world, you realize pretty quickly how many families are here with you.

Millions of Families Are Living This Every Day

UNICEF estimates that nearly 240 million children worldwide live with a disability, roughly 1 in 10 children. In the United States, the CDC estimates that about 1 in 6 children ages 3 through 17 has one or more developmental disabilities.

Those numbers are big, but I think it is easy to read a statistic and move on.

I don't see a number anymore.

I think about the dad sitting in a therapy waiting room while answering work emails. The parents trying to understand what was just said during an IEP meeting. The family figuring out whether insurance will cover another therapy. The sibling whose life is shaped by all of this too.

I think about our family.

There are millions of households figuring out some version of this every day.

And yet, it can still feel incredibly lonely.

Why Fathers Can Feel Invisible in Special Needs Parenting

This was one of the things that eventually led me to create Got4titude.

I was surrounded by people and still felt alone in a lot of what I was carrying.

I loved my family. I showed up. I handled what needed to be handled. From the outside, I probably looked fine most of the time.

There was a lot happening underneath that.

Fear about Harley's future. Guilt. Grief. Anger. Hope. Questions about whether I was doing enough for him, enough for Porter, enough for Chelsey.

I didn't always know what to do with those feelings, and I didn't have many other fathers in my life who understood this particular version of fatherhood.

So I did what a lot of dads do.

I kept going.

The problem is that you can get pretty far down that road before realizing how isolated you've become.

Fathers Need Support Too

A father can love his child more than anything in the world and still struggle with what this life asks of him.

Both can be true.

We need places where dads can talk about the fear they have about their child's future. Where they can admit they're exhausted or angry without feeling guilty about it. Where they can ask another father how he handled an IEP meeting, a difficult diagnosis, a strain in his marriage, or the pressure of trying to provide financially while also being present at home.

Sometimes you need practical information.

Sometimes you need another dad to say, "Yeah, I've been there."

That matters more than I understood when Harley was first diagnosed.

It's also a big part of why Got4titude exists today.

What Supporting a Family Can Actually Look Like

You don't have to completely understand someone's experience to support them.

One of the simplest things you can do is ask how they're doing and give them room to answer honestly.

Ask about their child, of course. But ask about Mom and Dad too.

Listen without immediately trying to solve something. Remember the appointment they mentioned last week and check back in. Invite the dad for coffee even if he's had to turn you down the last three times because life got complicated.

If you're an educator, therapist, medical provider, family member, employer, or friend, remember there is an entire family surrounding that child.

Sometimes support looks surprisingly ordinary.

A text. A meal. Flexibility at work. Sitting with someone in a waiting room. Asking a dad how he's doing and actually sticking around long enough to hear the answer.

If You're a Dad Raising a Child With a Disability

You are part of a much bigger community than it may feel like from where you're standing.

I wish I had understood that earlier.

There are other fathers trying to figure out therapies, school, marriage, work, finances, their child's future, and their own emotions at the same time.

You don't have to have everything figured out before you find those men.

Start with one conversation.

That is part of what we're building through Got4titude: practical resources, honest conversations, and a community specifically for fathers raising children with disabilities and neurodivergence.

Because there are a lot of us out here.

We just need better ways to find each other.

Frequently Asked Questions

How common are developmental disabilities in children?

The CDC estimates that about 1 in 6 U.S. children ages 3 through 17 has one or more developmental disabilities. These include a range of conditions that can affect physical, learning, language, or behavioral development.

How many children worldwide live with disabilities?

UNICEF estimates that nearly 240 million children worldwide live with some form of disability, or approximately 1 in 10 children.

Why can fathers raising children with disabilities feel isolated?

Every father's experience is different, but some dads have difficulty finding other men who understand the combination of medical decisions, therapies, school systems, financial pressure, family responsibilities, and emotions that can come with raising a child with a disability. Having other fathers to talk with can give dads a place to discuss those experiences openly.

How can I support a father raising a child with special needs?

Start by checking in on him as a person, not only asking about his child. Listen without immediately trying to solve the problem, continue including him socially, offer practical help when appropriate, and check back in after difficult appointments or transitions.

Where can fathers of children with disabilities find support?

Got4titude provides resources and father-to-father support specifically for dads raising children with disabilities and neurodivergence. 

📥 Download the Father’s Survival Kit: Seven practical tools created for fathers raising children with special needs, including the Brotherhood List. DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

🤝 Join the Got4titude Inner Circle: A private community where fathers raising children with special needs and disabilities can connect with other dads who understand this life. JOIN US

📞 Book a Father Advisory Session: One-on-one time with me to talk through what’s happening in your family, get some clarity and figure out what your next steps could look like.  BOOK YOUR SESSION

🗞️ Subscribe to my Substack: Our newsletter delivered straight to your inbox. From fatherhood and advocacy to grief, growth, and everything in between, this is where we share what’s real. SUBSCRIBE TO STAY CONNECTED

Stronger Men, Stronger Families.

Kirby Rabalais
Founder, Got4titude